Friday, January 29, 2010

Up in Smoke

No need to be creative or witty for this next post. After endless months of preparation, countless hours of training, and unlimited optimism for a fairytale ending, yet another goal of mine has come crashing down in a cruel slap of reality. Once again, my best was just not good enough. I was unsuccessful in the Vancouver Fire Rescue Panel interview, and will not be moving forward in the selection process.

No chance to wow 'em with a fantastic medical, nor for my references to (hopefully) speak words of praise. And after doing everything humanly possible to ensure I would kick ass on the Combat Challenge, I won't be given the chance to redeem myself from past failures and prove myself physically capable of rising to the challenge. Heartbroken doesn't even come close. I felt in my SOUL I was meant to be with Vancouver. But my heart's been fickle to me this past year, so don't ask me what's next. There are no words of solace left, because I wrote the book on bouncing back from hard times and overcoming obstacles. I'm a living cliche. Fuck. $2, I know. Fuck it. $4. Shitballs. Make it $6, Puta madre, a la verga, mierda, hijo de puta, cabron, gillipollas, JODER. Put it on my tab.

No more writing for today. I'm empty.

But I'm not done.

It's not over.

I. will. not. quit.